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I finally broke down and got a new cellphone this week, after going without all summer. I had liked the freedom; I could go shopping without fifteen calls asking where I was, no one could feel entitled to bother me at weird hours, there was one less voicemail to check. On the flipside, if I forgot something, it stayed forgotten. I had to rely on eagle eyes and crossed fingers when meeting someone at an event. And of course, I was terrified of breaking down orn something in the middle of nowhere with two kids in the car. So I signed up with Verizon and got a pink Motorola Razr dealie, just like eight zillion other people, and am once again in the land of the perpetually available. There's just one problem.
Text messaging.
I hate text messaging, loathe it with every fiber of my being. It takes too long to type, people send them incessantly, and the grammar hurts me to the core of my soul. Why do people insist on having complete conversations via text? What the hell is the point? KC texted me to ask "R these rolls still good?" I picked up the phone and dialed. "ARE THEY GREEN? Then they're still good." It took me less time to dial and answer his question than it would have to text the fucking answer, and I didn't have to use stupid acronyms and ridiculous abbreviations. I never thought I would prefer to talk on the phone again, but this has done it.
Plus, it is KC's preferred method of communication, and for one-off goofy things, it's okay, but he does it all day, and there is no way to do a mass deletion. Nope, I have to delete them one at a time. The picture messages, the weird emoticons, the whut-r-u-doins. One. At. A. Time. Erase. Erase message? Yes. Message Erased. Erase. Erase message? Yes. Message erased. Erase. Erase message? Yes. Message erased. And so on. And so on. And so on. At some point in my day, I have to get actual work done. Screw the internet. Text messaging is the albatross round the neck of productivity in this country. The amount of time it takes to switch over to actual punctuation is enough time to click on all the HungerSite related buttons three times over. Switch to a Blackberry, you say? Sure. Are you paying for it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My life. So hard! But I will tell you this: I also went all summer without cable, and that was a blissful three months free of commercials with some bitchy brat screeching "omg my bff jill!" which is possibly the most annoying ad campaign since the Pepto Bismol song and dance.
Aaaaand the Phils are losing their second game. I hate everyone in the world.