I went about things about as half-assed as I normally do; that is, I get many half-formed ideas in my head, write none of them down, and am left staring blankly at the screen typing random words into the search box, hoping lightning will strike. It's the same thing that happens the moment I enter a bookstore. I stand in the center, mouth slack, eyes blank, and as the clerk approaches me I smile brightly and announce, "Grapes can be green!"

Sane, organized people make lists. Nimrods like me watch late night Time-Life informercials and pray for guidance when the time comes.

So, from my half-baked brain and time-life.com, I present...Country Binge 2007.

1. "I'm for Love", Hank Williams, Jr.

Why? Because he's Bocephus, that's why. Also, this is one of the songs our dad taught us for long car rides. There's nothing quite like kids hollering, "...the train is against the jumbo jet, AND I'M AGAINST FISHING IN THE RAIN!" for long after-the-fact giggles.

2. "Queen of the Silver Dollar", Emmylou Harris

I am fairly sure I purchased this one for my old trashy-women mix, except I bought it from Wal-Mart and iPod snoots at their format. Damn hipsters. Anyway. I have a fondness for Shel Silverstein lyrics and the lady I called "Anyblue" when I was four.

3. "The Highwayman", The, uh, Highwaymen.

I still maintain this would make a phenomenal vid for Highlander: The Series. I have loved this song for a long time and it just screams "Methos".

I fully embrace my dorkitude.

4. "The Long Black Veil", Lefty Frizzell.

The CD I had this on is long gone. I had quite the collection of "Long Black Veil" covers at one time. Not on purpose, it just kind of happened.

5. "The Long Black Veil", Johnny Cash.

See above, and also, well, Johnny Cash. Come on. (The other one I have currently is The Chieftains with Mick Jagger.)

6. "El Paso", Marty Robbins.

This was on the CD with Lefty Frizzell (and the Highwaymen, come to think of it). I have spoken of my love for this song before. And how I annoyed the crap out of my friend Aaron with it throughout the Southwest.

It's not as bad as the time we all tortured my sister driving through Delaware, though. Every time we saw a sign for Dover my brother and I would yell "COME ON, DOVER, MOVE YOUR BLOOMIN' ARSE!" Oh, man, she totally hated us by the time that trip was over. Our parents were highly amused. We're a sick family.

7. "The Gambler", Kenny Rogers.

One, I love Kenny Rogers. I think because when I was little he reminded me of Santa Claus. But dude. The motherfuckin' gambler! Remember when he was on The Muppet Show and Statler was the Gambler? And you cried? Shut up, you cried. And there is nothing like getting bombed out of your skull with a bunch of your college girlfriends and belting out this song at top volume at a block party. Especially if you act it out with hand gestures.

We made our own fun.

8. "Lousiana Saturday Night", Mel McDaniel.

I just like it. If I am feeling too maudlin, I will confess that this one reminds me of when my parents were married and sometimes I get nostalgic for that. Or for my innocence back then, anyway. I don't think I'd wish them back together, they'd both kill me.

9. "Could I Have This Dance", Anne Murray.

"And that bitch Anne Murray too..." Purchased solely due to my longstanding delight with the movie Urban Cowboy.

10. "Fancy", Reba McEntire.

Be a hooker for your momma, Fancy! Another addition to the "Trashy Women" playlist on the Nano.

11. "Redneck Woman", Gretchen Wilson.

Yep, Blue Light Special. This was another Wal-Mart purchase that iPod was too cool for. (No, really, it was a just a whatchamacallit file that iPod can't read, but never let it be said I ignored the convenient joke.)

12. "Trashy Women", Confederate Railroad.

I really got on a roll tonight. I've loved this song for years and years, though. When "Queen of Memphis" first hit, I was kvetching I was tired of this song and Confederate Railroad sucks and blah de blah, and my dad said "Oh ho ho, listen to this, then" and played me this song. I saw these guys open for the Charlie Daniels Band in one of the last shows at Valley Forge. Charlie Daniels is very fucking tired of that devil, by the way. I have never heard a song played so fast in my life.

13. "Queen of My Double Wide Trailer", Sammy Kershaw.

I told you I was on a roll. This song has always cracked me up.

14. "How Your Love Makes Me Feel", Diamond Rio.

I love Diamond Rio, and this song is one of those peppy songs that always cheers me up. I saw these guys too, at Sea World. They played with Suzy Bogguss and Lee "Proud to Be An American" Greenwood. Lee fills every possible stereotype of "white boy dancing", by the way. I still have nightmares about his cover of "Footloose".

15. "Dance Little Jean", The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.

I do not know enough about these guys to know if they meant to be funny, but this song just kills me every fucking time I hear it. How could it not?

Dance, little Jean, this day is for you
Two people you love stood up to say I do;
Dance, little Jean, the prayer that you had
Was answered today...your mama's marryin' your dad.

I am not made of stone here, people.

16. "Thank God I'm a Country Boy", John Denver.

I adore John Denver with a deep non-ironic love. I just love him. I've seen a couple of movies and TV shows with this montage of bad auditions and there's always a stretch of people singing "Annie's Song", and I am all "OMG that is the best song ever do not mock pls" and maybe my chin wibbles a bit.

I did not download "Annie's Song". Don't ask me why.

17. "Take Me Home, Country Roads", John Denver.

This song made me cry when I was seven. It still does if I am sufficiently hormonal. As Mal discovered, though, John Denver does not make me mellow in traffic. She is scarred by memories of me shrieking obscenities at someone who cut me off while "Rocky Mountain High" played soothingly in the background. She has never been able to reconcile this. I cannot blame her.

18. "She Took It Like a Man", Confederate Railroad.

KC says this songs reminds him of me. It's another one that makes me laugh.

Several of these also fill the all important criteria for Adam's lullabies. They must be songs within my range that I know all the words to. Until now, the only ones that really fit the bill were "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", the Eagles fight song...and "Science Fiction Double Feature". (I will have you know that when I sing that one on the middle of the night both KC and Adam zonk right out. It's totally the baby's favorite, especially the last few lines.)

The best part? I still have some room left on the card!