We've taken to calling her Jamie Leah, after her virtuoso performance on a haunted hayride this weekend. See, this kid, she's intense, and she's obsessive, and she is overly anxious and fearful, but only about things which are real. Tsunamis, floods, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes...these all send her screaming into the night. Ghosts, goblins, and ghouls? Bring 'em on, Mommy, and can we see that again?

So I wasn't too worried about the Halloween party our town put on this weekend. There was a brief "parade" (the kids lined up in grade order and walked two blocks to the judges stand), and a haunted hayride starting at 7, a dj on one corner and pumpkin painting on the other, The Haunted Mansion showng in the community college building, all kinds of stuff. It was really neat, if a bit cold.

Leah was wired right from the beginning. She was hanging with me in the line-up until I told her it was okay to go stand with her friends (apparently, the squee response starts early...exhibit a: "JANIE! JANIE! JANIE! JANIE! JANIE, THIS IS MY MOMMY! HI JANIE! MOMMY, JANIE IS IN MY CLASS AT SCHOOL! YAAAAAAAY IT IS JANIE!") so she ran up and the four of them held hands all the way up the street. After the judging, we walked the rest of the way downtown. The girls danced like...well, like a bunch of six-year-olds, mostly. Leah was worried that she didn't know how to dance like that, and we were all showing her how ("HAH HAH HAH, LEAH'S MOMMY IS SHAKING HER BOOTY!") and after a brief meltdown about having to put on her jacket, she stayed pretty upbeat. "This is not a parade! This is a party and the whole town is here!" And then she started pumping her fist in the air. "Par-ty! Par-ty! Par-ty!"

We got in line for the hayride, which took forever. Leah kept herself occupied by playing air guitar and doing some weird wavy dance which made her look just like...well, let's just say she's a Jersey girl and leave it at that. Oh, my. Anyway. We finally got on a wagon and waited for a bit; Leah climbed into my lap to make room and we ended up sitting next to the officer on duty, which made me feel better. Because high-school kids in costume scare me, if not my freaky kid. The cop and I got the giggles after we pointed out the DARE officer; he was dancing like a nut and jumping up behind the wagon, so we told Leah that the haunted hayride was going to be Officer Barberi dancing with his flashlight, because what could be more scary that that?

The wagon finally took off, and we turned down a back street toward the park. There were enough condemned houses around that it was slightly creepy on its own, but traffic kept coming down the street, so we figured it was mostly atmosphere. Then a guy came running out with a chainsaw. Heh. (The same guy, incidentally, who got nailed in the nuts by a girl the next evening at the haunted prison tour. Hee. Fight or flight, indeed.)

We turned into the park and everyone braced themselves; Leah was standing up and was so wiggly and squirmy that I was afraid she'd biff someone in the head with her bag. She jumped at the entrance, which had two Tim Burton-ish scarecrows marking the way. There were black-lit ghosts hanging from trees, and tombstones, cobwebs...your standard stuff. Some demony type people rushed the wagon and were taken down by army men, which of course sent me to my Buffy place. Leah got really into the spirit of the thing, and by the time we stopped in the "graveyard" and were assaulted by every movie madman, she was having the time of her life. Her friends from next door were on the floor on the wagon bawling their eyes out and Leah was standing on a haybale, face to face with Freddy Krueger, screaming in his face at the top of her lungs and laughing her head off.

Seriously, it was perfect. It was lengthy, high-pitched, loud, and clear. Absolutely classic in every sense. The guy across from us leaned over and said, "Ma'am, I think your little girl has found her calling." It was all just a big hoot to her; no nightmares, nothing. It was, to Leah, the "best night ever, except for when I did not win the costume contest and that makes it the worst night ever, Mommy, because I should have won." No, she shouldn't have, because she wanted to be Cinderella, and prefab Disney store costumes do not win originality contests. She was out of luck from the very beginning, no matter how sassy she was with the judges. The kid dressed as a skunk in a toilet, labelled a "potty animal"...that kid won, and deservedly so. (I was very proud of Miss Leah, incidentally, for going right up to that kid and saying "congratulations" and "I like your costume.")

So tonight, it should be warmer and she might be able to get away with just the turtleneck under her costume. I'll be in a long red robe (it was called a "Slayer costume" but it looks more like something the Bringers wore...heyyyyy, I think I might be on to something) and taking her around for candy. KC is on door duty, which serves him right for getting candy that I hate. (Reese's. I hate Reese's.) Hopefully, too, I will have pictures of the school parade today.